Three Months In
Well, it has been about three months since I left my job to be a stay at home mom! The honeymoon phase has definitely worn off. There's definitely a lot of highs and lows every day, and I definitely feel like I'm going a little crazy every day.
1. One of the main reasons I wanted to stay with the kids is so I could take them to do more kid stuff. Since they are not in preschool, I wanted to find a way to get them around other kids more often. I'd say this has been a success so far. We've been going to our neighborhood park more often, we have play dates with other mamas and kids, and we sometimes go to mama and me yoga or to the library for story time. I even made a new mom friend at the park and we got an invite to a birthday party! Score!
2. John seems happy going to work and being the breadwinner of the family. I'm so proud of him and I think he's gotten new confidence in himself. Also, he gets to go to work and be with real people every day, which is amazing (I know from experience).
3. I have more free time to try to create my dream life. I don't have to work for money for the first time in forever. So what should I do with all this time? I have freedom! (kind of) I've been spending more time outside, working on my garden, cooking projects, doing a little morning yoga...pretty much whatever in the midst of the chaos the kids are creating!
4. Of course, probably the biggest benefits is the enhanced relationship I have with my kids. They seem to really be happy that I'm home with them, and I have many special moments with them each day.
1. I totally do miss going to work, and being with grown ups, and working on mentally stimulating software projects. I miss the sense of achievement that comes with a software release. I miss getting compliments on my work. I miss coming home to my home sweet home after a day of work. I miss my coworker friends.
2. Our income was cut in half! Maybe a little more than half. But our fixed expenses are the same, so our budget is tight and it's been weird to get used to. I used to be able to buy anything, any time but now I have to be really careful!
3. There is much less time than I expected to do my own projects. I had ideas to do all kinds of house organization projects, or stuff with my Etsy business, or whatever...but the kids and basic chores like cooking/laundry really do take up almost all my time. Before quitting my job, I had thought that I could perhaps take on a part time job. Hahaha, what a joke! There is no way that could ever work out as things are now, the kids really require a ton of attention.
The Good Things:
1. One of the main reasons I wanted to stay with the kids is so I could take them to do more kid stuff. Since they are not in preschool, I wanted to find a way to get them around other kids more often. I'd say this has been a success so far. We've been going to our neighborhood park more often, we have play dates with other mamas and kids, and we sometimes go to mama and me yoga or to the library for story time. I even made a new mom friend at the park and we got an invite to a birthday party! Score!
2. John seems happy going to work and being the breadwinner of the family. I'm so proud of him and I think he's gotten new confidence in himself. Also, he gets to go to work and be with real people every day, which is amazing (I know from experience).
3. I have more free time to try to create my dream life. I don't have to work for money for the first time in forever. So what should I do with all this time? I have freedom! (kind of) I've been spending more time outside, working on my garden, cooking projects, doing a little morning yoga...pretty much whatever in the midst of the chaos the kids are creating!
4. Of course, probably the biggest benefits is the enhanced relationship I have with my kids. They seem to really be happy that I'm home with them, and I have many special moments with them each day.
The Bad Things:
1. I totally do miss going to work, and being with grown ups, and working on mentally stimulating software projects. I miss the sense of achievement that comes with a software release. I miss getting compliments on my work. I miss coming home to my home sweet home after a day of work. I miss my coworker friends.
2. Our income was cut in half! Maybe a little more than half. But our fixed expenses are the same, so our budget is tight and it's been weird to get used to. I used to be able to buy anything, any time but now I have to be really careful!
3. There is much less time than I expected to do my own projects. I had ideas to do all kinds of house organization projects, or stuff with my Etsy business, or whatever...but the kids and basic chores like cooking/laundry really do take up almost all my time. Before quitting my job, I had thought that I could perhaps take on a part time job. Hahaha, what a joke! There is no way that could ever work out as things are now, the kids really require a ton of attention.
Conclusion So Far
Being a stay at home mom is rough, much harder than going to work I'd say. It's a different kind of stress. I think maybe I'm still trying to figure out the best ways to manage everything, ways to bring more joy into the mix. Maybe I need to let go of some of the expectations I set on myself prior to embarking on this journey.
I had an original goal of three months and now I'm here. I think I'm not quite ready for this journey to end yet. I feel like there's more for me to learn, and more benefits for the family. Maybe I'll go a few more months or maybe I'll go all the way to when the girls start school. I guess it's best to stay pretty flexible since John seems to be happy working and I think we both can't work full time. I think the current situation is good for the time being, but who knows when life will decide to shake things up.
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